I’m being honest.

 if I’m being honest

I’m not ready either. 

I’ve been using

How I feel

As a measurement

Of my readiness

But clearly 

I’m in no space

To do much

I’m in no space

To be much

so who am I 

to have judged you

For realizing that

About yourself

All on your own? 

If my happy ending

Looks anything like yours

Then it involves

A life well lived

filled with security

covered in love. 

Who am I 

To fault you

For wanting that? 

We can’t get there

in a broken car.

so why not crawl

Until we can walk

Until we can run

Until we can fly

Together? 

see you happy.

seeing you happy…

I hate it. 

that’s why I’m distant

right now.

I have tears

That are paying 

For crimes

You committed. 

water/bed blues

maybe I needed this to happen    

so that i could wake up.

but anytime i'm awake

my mind is consumed.

do i drown in bed

or drown in my head

i do not know...

fill a void.

 i exist 

to fill a void 

in people’s lives. 

I am not 

special enough 

to be deserving

 of the world

but I am deserving enough

to be put up in hiding places 

stuffed in cracks and corners 

remembered for pleasure 

but forgotten for care.

my favorite song.

 you are my favorite song to listen to. 

i'm always excited 

when your track plays 

because i know 

i'll never skip you. 

i get to enjoy 

endless replays 

of your love. 

this small collection 

of thoughts

 is corny and sweet 

but it's true. 

my favorite way 

to pass time 

is by being immersed 

in my favorite tune, 

and that's you. 

buy me flowers.

 do you want to be the guy

who buys me flowers

when the rain is chilly

And the sun is darkening 

how about a bouquet of roses

in the color of fire

or peonies in my power color

what about sunflowers 

to appreciate the beauty

in my feminine being

or a plant that I can tend to

and grow old with

do you want to be the guy

who buys me flowers

when I’m moody and miserable

and when a smile is not enough

to express my joy

buy them for any reason

during any season

And like the garden they are pulled from

my love for you

will always be in bloom...

if you buy me flowers

are you sure

i guess what I'm looking for...

is reassurance that you wont change your mind.

others hopped in the car with me 

claiming they are going where I'm going.

and halfway through,

they get out.

and suddenly I'm left

taking the ride 

on my own.

only one time 

did I turn back around 

and try to follow 

where someone else went.

what a desolate road,

paved with terrible sounds of hell

and a torment 

that took up residence in my heart. 

never again.

now you and I 

are journeying together 

and the view is sunny. 

but i know some days 

it'll be cloudy.

it will definitely storm.

i pray we never go through 

a tornado or hurricane.

but if we do,

we will take cover

together. 

promise me,

we'll take cover 

together. 

are you sure

you'll stand by me no matter what

are you sure this journey 

is not too long?

are you built for a long time

not just a good time?

are you sure?

because I don't want to be wrong.