Thursday, June 13, 2024

13 days in

I’ve been reflecting more

Now that I have time,

Now that I have space.

on some days I can forgive

and on others I just want to be a sinner.

Today I sinned. Heavily. 

But it got lighter. 

Conversations with my dad

brought perspective. 

I hope to keep seeing him in you.

something was broken long ago

and I see now I needed 

what I have now 

Along time ago. 

I didn’t want to take that medicine then.

So now it’s going down

with a bittersweet taste…

I can handle it.

I’ve been here before. 

but to come here again?

Why bring myself more misery? 

Why poison what already got broken

even more? 

I’ve written manifestos 

on how I’ll show up better

Course correct so that the

Course doesn’t always need correction.

defragment. Deprogrammed.

Reprogram taking place…

Everything will be so new

bright, fast moving, heavy

intense…

I’ll do my best to get ready. 

How many days do I have left

Before the new me has to emerge. 

I’ll use my penance and move on.

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