I’ve been reflecting more
Now that I have time,
Now that I have space.
on some days I can forgive
and on others I just want to be a sinner.
Today I sinned. Heavily.
But it got lighter.
Conversations with my dad
brought perspective.
I hope to keep seeing him in you.
something was broken long ago
and I see now I needed
what I have now
Along time ago.
I didn’t want to take that medicine then.
So now it’s going down
with a bittersweet taste…
I can handle it.
I’ve been here before.
but to come here again?
Why bring myself more misery?
Why poison what already got broken
even more?
I’ve written manifestos
on how I’ll show up better
Course correct so that the
Course doesn’t always need correction.
defragment. Deprogrammed.
Reprogram taking place…
Everything will be so new
bright, fast moving, heavy
intense…
I’ll do my best to get ready.
How many days do I have left
Before the new me has to emerge.
I’ll use my penance and move on.
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